A Daily Chance to Believe

An offering of truth to those who are searching.

November 24, 2008

When Faith is Very Hard

Greetings Dear Readers,

Sometimes faith is VERY hard. When Avalon and I married she said that the one thing she never wished to do was weaken or damage my faith. As she goes through the process of divorcing me for her own purposes, for the first time I find myself questioning my beliefs. I am sure that God loves me and that he is good and has the best intentions for me.

I acknowledge that I have failed him and my Avalon in many ways. I know it is not my heart that is hard. That leaves me with a simple truth. God is allowing the love of my life, the one in whom I delight even when she is a pain in the ass to leave me and trample on my heart in so many ways that she cannot even see. Everything in my life is effected and this weekend I realized that one of those things was my faith.

The question, a simple one, went like this. "If God loves me then why is he letting this happen to me." Although the question is an honest one, one can be honestly wrong, stupid, and faithless. Here is the response that came to mind in the form of analyzing the sentence.

· IF God loves me - there is no IF. He does, in more ways than I can ever imagine.
· Why - Job asked this question as well after losing much more than I ever could - God's response was to question that Job would question him. God wanted Job to acknowledge that God is enough.
· Letting - God is allowing it. God is Good. God does love me, so I must accept with joy what he allows in my life.
· TO ME - How arrogant and self centered. Avalon is the one acting without faith and in defiance to God's stated best for her. I should be focused on her sin and praying that she see Christ clearly.

So, in my lapse of faith I see a chance to have greater faith. Lord I believe, help thou my unbelief. We can trust God with everything, even the unjust abandonment of a wife we love with all our hearts.

What do you think?

Wishing you joy in the journey,

Aramis Thorn